Humor - Are You Listed?

Lists are for forgettables. When I was a newlywed, however, the one for the supermarket was more about what not toA get in order not to go over budget. If it wasn't listed, we couldn't afford it - unless it was tissues or toilet paper. We always needed those and they never spoiled.

When I travel, I always have a checklist. Everything I've taken anywhere is listed. All I have to do is cross off what I don't need for a particular trip and decide how many of what's left I do need. If it weren't for checklists, I'd have forgotten my pillow a lot - and I'd have lost sleep over it.

I don't have a daily schedule. Each day of the week has a specific, household task - except laundry. Laundry is unpredictable. It depends on the weather, on what we do and on how we want to look when we do it. I have a list of people I want to thank and the inventors of the large-capacity washer and dryer are on it.

Although I don't need a schedule for housework, I need one for my computer. Some days the schedule gets longer instead of shorter because one thing leads to another and then another. Nevertheless, crossing things off makes me feel good. I cross off with red ink because I'm trying to reverse the effect red ink had on me when I was in elementary school.

I used to have a scroll of names for Christmas cards and my scroll got longer every year. Receive a card/send a card led to our sending more than three hundred - many to people we were related to only by business. Instead of separating the merry from the mundane, we stopped cold turkey. Stopping Christmas cards the day after Thanksgiving, of course, made stopping cold turkey easier.

The most famous scroll is Santa's. He's the one who checks who's been naughty and nice. I have a girlfriend who wants Frederick's of Hollywood lingerie for Christmas. I think it says naughty next to her name.

Next to my name it says, "no gift that requires creativity". When God gave out creativity, he must have given my share to Martha Stewart. I can't make a wreath out of wild flowers or parchment out of bed sheets, but I can make lists. According to my grandmother, those who make lists make fewer mistakes.