Lying And Relationships - Lie - Of Course I Don'T Lie

I've always considered myself an honest person, but apparently I'm not. A recent survey revealed that each of us tells on average four lies a day, and what I'd always considered as simply being economical with the truth is, infact, a lie.

It seems the most common untruths are that we feel "fine" when actually we don't, and if someone asks our opinion on an outfit we are somewhat careful with our response. After all, how many men do you know who dare honestly respond to, "Does my bum look fat in this?"

Statistics are strange things and vary depending on whom you ask, but this survey said seventy-five per cent of men lied more than women, and overall, two-thirds of us didn't feel the slightest bit guilty about it.

"Untruths", "porky pies", "lies" or whatever you choose to call them oil the wheels of social discourse and we would have far fewer friends if we always told the truth. I don't know if you ever saw the film Liar, Liar with Jim Carey but certainly life was a lot smoother for him when he stopped telling the absolute truth.

Apparently we learn to lie as babies. I know that seems hard to believe, but the experts say when our little angels cry for no reason it's because they want attention and their noise makes us believe there is something wrong. They are, infact, lying to us. Who'd have believed it?

Anyway, we lie to protect our fragile egos but not everyone is good at it. Men fare worse as they demonstrate tell tale signs like sweaty palms, hot flushes and strange hand/face gestures; or they embellish their stories and give too much information.

Women can usually tell when a man is lying but it's far more difficult the other way round. Maybe, they just never suspect the female to be devious, or just don't take any notice of their partners' body language, etc.

Of course, that's assuming the lie is being told to your face, and I have to say there are some people who make a living out of lying. Having been the victim of two incredibly clever and plausible scams, when the "liars" looked me in the eye, shook my hand and then defrauded me of thousands of pounds, I often wonder how they sleep at night.

As the victim I felt hurt, sick and humiliated, and sadly I've reached the point where I don't trust anyone any more. It's a shame, but a reflection on our society.

In the newspapers and on the television there are repeated cases of vulnerable people being scammed, People lose their life savings, and often it destroys their health and will to live. Some people have even taken their own lives because of such despicable acts.

When I worked as a secretary for a lawyer there were many bitter disputes between
friends and family because of money lent and never repaid. It ruined relationships, and whenever I came across them I always thought of my dad's wise words "Never a borrower nor a lender be".

Recently I heard of a young student who's had his university course blighted by some "lady" claiming to be studying medicine at Birmingham. It seems they met at a party and "hit it off", if you see what I mean and continued their "relationship" via the internet as he was in a different location.

A few days after the party she told the student she'd been mugged in Nigeria and had lost all her money. The smitten student cabled her his grant money, which she promised to repay upon her return to UK, and guess what? Yes, she disappeared along with the money. Unsurprisingly, the free yahoo e-mail address is no longer valid and the police can't do a thing about it.

The young male student is now finding university somewhat more frugal than he had anticipated and struggling to provide the course books he needs. Meanwhile, the medical student, if indeed she is one, is probably having a fine old time.

So, here's a word of warning. If you see a slim, brunette, white girl with a Birmingham accent and a free e-mail address, possibly calling herself Jane Smith (I know!), who claims to be studying medicine and is pretty flush with money and free with favours at parties, be very wary. She obviously cried a lot as a baby because at the tender age of twenty-two she's already a master at lying.